Happy New Year everyone. I'm back in New Jersey from a two week stint on Long Island. I went home to see my family and make some money walking dogs for my old boss. It felt good to be back on the Island to rejoice, and gather my thoughts about the future. Being at home gives us the opportunity to remain nostalgic but positive about changes in our lives. While this might be obvious to many to me it seems the older I get the less I'm calling my parents house home. As we age something inside of us tells us it's time to grow up, start a family, or just simply move on to the next stage in this complicated world we live in. For the first time in my life I'm happy away from home. I am truly starting to fall in love with Maija. She is a great girl and has welcomed me into her home with open arms. Her smile lights up my world and the very fact we can sit around and make each other laugh over the smallest of things gives me goosebumps. Many girls would be apprehensive about starting a new, serious relationship after getting divorced but I pride her on moving on with her life and taking one step in a positive direction. Life is all about change and adapting to what is thrown in our face. Relationships are the glue which keeps us guessing about all the What If's, Could, Would, and Should. It it a nice feeling when two people can come home to each other and truly be happy. I wish this was the case in all relationships. I have a friend who is in a relationship with their significant other who tends to be controlling, and yet while they might seem in control it is the other person who is dominates the relationship. Usually in this case the person who is being controlled is also the one who ends the relationship. I hope they can find a way to balance each other out. If we do not tell our significant other how we feel then we are selling ourselves and our kinship short. What is so unique about every individual is how each relationship differs from the next. I have always believed it is those relationships that continue to have open lines of communication grow and prosper. I see it in those friends who have been together for years. I see how well they communicate with each other. How they will wear their heart on their shoulder for that person to see everyday. It is true we all do not posses this characteristic but that doesn't meant we can not obtain it. Maybe you wish your significant other would communicate better with you, or that you feel you need to open your feelings to them more. Give it a try. Chances are at first they may shut you out. But if word it correctly it can end with approval rather than refusal. If we never take a chance on saying how we feel then we will never know how the other person will react. At times yes it is better to bite your lip but do not keep that thought or feeling inside permanently. Come back once you have given yourself time to digest and go about sharing your feelings in a different manner. We need to continue expressing our feelings to one and another. Maybe start with an E-mail or a phone call, then once the foundation has been set move on to a face to face conversation. Technology gives us many ways to share our compassion with others. But leave yourself open to variety. Don't just text and E-mail 100% of the time. Or vice versa, do not always confront in person if you tend to be a bit on the louder side (like me). Do we all need to be in relationships? of course not but it is my belief a story, idea, or experience is better shared with someone than without. We all seem to be seeking a balance in life. A balance of money, health, time, friendship, and rest. A balance of solidarity, togetherness, and most importantly nature.
The balance I seek is yet to be accomplished or even half found. For the past two years I have dedicated myself to bicycle racing. Instead of going out and working a 9-5 job I choose to find mediocre employment which would grant me the opportunity to train and race. I tend to live a life without regrets. If money was not a problem I probably would have been racing in in Europe.
In any cases greatness can be achieved in a a variety of ways. But at what cost? How many other people and experiences do we have to shut out in order reach these goals? Not all goals are obtained with negative side effects but sometimes it seems near or next to impossible to not be selfish when your mind is on auto pilot.
I have found endurance sports to be both exhilarating but yet a selfish feat. Cycling is a sport where you need to learn to suffer within before you can consider yourself worthy of the sport. It doesn't matter what category racer we are but if we can't learn to suffer than we will always remain mediocre. A life of mediocrity is not the way I intend to live.
This weekend I'll be heading to New Hevaen CT to take part in the Yale University Police Physical and Written test. I wish it was done on one day but for some reason they split itup on two different days. Then on Monday I have my oral board interview with the Delaware State Police. At this point I'm using every opportunity to get as many offers as I can in a bunch of different Police Departments. Once the application process is over and if I am offered a position I'll make a decision if that is where I want to go. I also landed a job as a dog handler at a dog daycare facility. The pay is not that good but it's close to Maija's house and I can take Cooper and Frito with me. I probably won't take them everyday or they will get burnt out from all the excitement. Another good perk about the job is that it's only 7 miles away so once Spring comes I'll be able to commute by bicycle instead of driving. I can't tell you how happy that makes me! Maybe one day I'll live in a town where I can commute everywhere by bicycle.
Time to play with the pups and relax for the night.
Until next time.
A
