Back to the dirt...

Now things are finally underway here in the Northeast for racing bicycles. Central park is filled with spandex bicycle aficionados at 6 A.M with something to prove. Central Park (Manhattan) and Prospect Park (Brooklyn) will always be home to those who need to prove their bike handling and sprinting skills. Now a category 2 cyclist in two years my best placing in Central Park is 3rd and that was in a 4 race! Every time I finish a race in these two locations I'm more happy to be alive with all the skin left on my body. Speaking of flesh, skin, and staying alive I'm heading back to the Tour of the Battenkill. Last year I had a bad crash which left me in the hospital while two nurses scrubbed small rocks out of my legs, hands, and arms.



That was an experience I will never forget. Especially being on morphine, eating ice cubes and watching a Star Wars Marathon.

So this Saturday I'll be heading back to the dirt roads of Cambridge, New York. It's a great race and the promoter was the director of my team from last season. The race grew from it's first year of 200 participants to now over 2,000. It is considered the largest Pro/Amateur race in the United States. Usually with racing I try to stay away from superstitions, tales, legends, fallacies, and prayer.

But I think this season I need some type of cycling angel.

AH! NO! NOT THE SPECIALIZED ANGEL!

First year at Battenkill I was a Cat4, it was 80 degrees and my fourth race EVER. I had one bottle, no food, and got massive leg cramps after 30 miles. Somehow managed to get 19th overall.

Last Year CRASH.

This year? Hat Trick? NOOOOO!

On some other news I have decided not to finish my Masters, at least for now. I am going to start my own business. I'm not obliged to go into details right now considering I'm so broke donating sperm doesn't sound like a bad idea. I'll get back to the details later but lets just saying it seems like my calling in life. A way to homogenize life, sport, love, time, family, and community. It's going to take a lot of planning, support, but anything is possible in life. I'm the first to say




I'll update after Battenkill.

Be well Blog followers.

A

Central Park Sprint Finish

Here is a taste of what it is like in a sprint at Central Park.

I believe I was in the top 15? If you play it a few times in slow-mo you can see me wearing my bright green sunglasses and all black kit.

Also notice the recreational cyclist who never got out of the way and almost got nailed on the right side. Serves them right!

Race season has begun!

Ah race season is finally underway for me. I've been in this training bubble alone outside in the cold everyday since December. The clouds have part ways more and the sun expresses it's hotter temperatures onto the earth. It feels nice not having three+ layers on me while I cycle. I already have my zebra/cycling tan going on. It looks pretty cool and my girlfriend Maija admires it :)

My first race of the season was also my first race with a new team; Team Somerset/Somerville Bike Shop. Gill the owner of the Somerville bike shop took me on even though everyone else on the team is CAT1. I'll have to work hard to show him and the rest of the team they are not wasting their time. If anything I'm sure it's comedic to have a muchacho blanco on the team. Our first race together was this past Sunday at Central Park in NYC. The course is a little over 6 miles long and we did 5 laps. A short race for most 1/2 guys. It's one of the many reasons I'm not a big fan of racing in Central Park. In my opinion it's a place for sprinters or beginner competitive cyclists. Just as New York City can be claustrophobic so can a bicycle race in the park. The road twists and turns like a snake and because of it's short distance the pace is blazzing fast from the start. Sunday was no different. It was a great temperature (mid 50's) for a morning race but I was still felling overdressed in my all black cycling kit. Our team kits have no come in yet so we are all wearing matching black kits with no sponsors. The black knights! My legs responded to every hard effort the pack or the course threw at me.

New York City racing is a small community of people. For this reason it was no surprise when my teammates and I rolled up to the starting line everyone had that "who are those guys" expression on their face. In the end it really doesn't matter what your wearing. I'm sure if they had full results instead of only top 10 our team would have spoke for itself. All 4 of us finished in the top 15. The race went off with a few attacks that were brought right back. Gill did a great job of working hard on the front, chasing down any attacks. I did exactly what he said which was sit in until 1 lap remaining and then get up into the top 15. With one lap to go I waited until the hill to get a good position in the top 15-20. I sat right on Gill's wheel but didn't see our other two teammates which was essential for a proper lead out. Coming into the final 1-2K it was very hard getting around people because we were veering in and out of the joggers lane. (Not intentionally) In the final sprint I had no wheel to chase, went hard as hell to still have a top 15 finish. I was a little pissed with this result. Also because one of our other teammates finished 6th. Where was he for my lead out? Guess I will have to wait until next weekend for another shot at a lead out. I've been thinking lately that still at the CAT2 level it comes down to what I can do for myself in a race. I can understand why it's hard for people to sacrifice themselves in a race for someone else. Especially when they are not getting paid. Tour of the Battenkill will be my first good test to see how I match up against other CAT2's. I'm very excited for the day.

On other news my body has been a little bit of a mess lately. Two weeks ago I had some pain in my big toe. Turns out I had an ingrown toe-nail and needed it removed. That set my training back a day or two. I'm still dealing with some residual soreness. Then about a week ago the right side of my mouth was killing me. Turns out I had a bummed wisdom tooth that needed to get removed. Right after the race on Saturday I headed back to Long Island where I went straight to the Dentist where he ripped my tooth out. OUCH! I've been on painkillers for 2 days now. I'm hoping today will be the last day of this.

Other things on my mind...

Thinking about finishing my Masters.

Thinking about what to finish my Masters in...

Thinking about how much I love training and living in NJ compared to Long Island.

I really like cookies.

I have become crazy attached to our dog Cooper :)

Video games are cool but a waste of time.

March Madness is crazy fun and the games are so close!

I can't wait for my mouth to stop hurting.

I have been realizing I might be a Philanthropist. I've been looking into volunteering so of my time but haven't told anyone yet. There is this organization that needs people to help out with war veterans. It could be senior citizens or people who are the same age as myself. I think this would be interesting. My life of cycling and training sometimes makes me a selfish person. I'm constantly thinking about how I can improve myself as an athlete physically. But I am realizing that to help others and donate your time can be not only mentally stimulating but effects our minds positively. This week I'll look more into this veterans help idea.

I have also realized that we should never try to be someone that we ARE NOT. While trying to figure myself as an individual I do not want to become a person on the basis of someone's own endeavors. We can only be who WE choose to be. Most jobs out there are respectable professions but we must respect ourselves before we can commit to that type of livelihood. Parents are quick to think of the top respectable jobs for their kids because those professions are well regarded intellectually. No matter what the circumstances if we do not choose our own path to righteousness then we are living the dream of someone else. Those words do go with the fact of finding ones lifework. The question we must ask ourselves is, If we could live our lives all over again would we change anything?

Ah but the real question is:

What choice did we actually have from the start?

We can't run from who we are, our destiny chooses us...

The Continuation...

Ah so I promised that I would continue to update my blog from the other day but somehow I seemed to get preoccupied. So where did I leave off? Ah, yes the woman's mind. While I'm speaking about relationships between men and women this does not count out relationships with two men or two women. In the end, they are still relationships! I feel as if there is no true understanding of our counterparts inner thinking. Life and relationships are meant trying to figure out those idiosyncrasies, quirks, and favoritism's. So what gives with the high divorce rate in America and beyond? Were we meant to be monogamous people in this world? I think it comes down to obvious signs. But the true question is, when you meet the right person that fulfills your cognitive and physical desires, do you need to look any further? Sure we can say common recounts such as "Time will tell", or "Fate will lead me in the correct direction." I have a friend who was constantly fighting with their partner. It seems their physical emotion was letting them get the most of their relationship. While they cared quite dearly for each other they could not seem to stop fighting over every little thing. Of course being the outspoken person I am, I gave my friend my two sense. I told my friend they needed to communicate differently if they wanted to keep the longevity and relationship healthy. Last I heard they were on a "break". I never understood the reason behind a "break" in a relationship. I'm sure there are couples who need time away from each other but in this specific case I said it was not the best option. This couple would take a "break" from seeing each other and then some time down the road, a couple of weeks or months, they would reconnect and be happy when they saw each other. The only downside to this so called break is that the problem still lingers behind the curtain. I said to my friend time would go by and things would be fine but the next time a fight or argument came about they would be at each others throats, still lacking the needed communications. Lastly, I said to my friend they needed to figure out a better way to solve their problems than fighting it out. Don't get me wrong we (couples) needs fights every now and then to solve issues but I definitely feel there is a decisive difference between healthy fighting and destructive fighting.

On a more positive note, my winter training is coming to a close and the race season is around the corner. This is good news! Over the past few months I have been working with my coach Mike Monestero and using a powertap to regulate training days. Last year as a CAT3 I would ride 3-4-5 hours a day and I thought this was "good training". Sure it was boat loads of fun getting lost on Long Island but ironically it didn't get me anywhere! Training in central New Jersey has been a blessing. Sure I would like climbs that would be a little longer than 15-20 minutes but it beats climbing over-passes on Long Island. Oh and there are not many traffic lights and the drivers around here are quite friendly, well at least where I train.

I'm very excited for this up coming season. I keep thinking of getting to CAT1 and getting my name out there to some domestic pro teams. Sure this is a totally long shot but I have always believed in endurance sports you need to constantly shoot for the stars because no one is going to ride my bike for me. I've been looking at getting a pair of race wheels for some time now but with my finances not in the GREEN I am not sure if this is a possibility anymore. I wish this could change because having a nice pair of race wheels definitely makes a difference.

The sun is shining and above freezing so that means it's time to head out and train.

Talk to Ya'll soon!!

A

The Last Gunfighter Ballad

Well it's now the end of February and the white daemons are still falling from the sky. When looking at different forms of optimism, no matter how many more times it snows it will sooner-or-later go away. Living in the Northeast makes you become evasive to simple realizations of nice weather. I never thought I would spend my winter days training outside for cycling. Each day training in the winter was a struggle. Right after work I would spend fifteen minutes suiting up 5+ pounds of winter cycling gear before duct taping my booties so the cold crisp Nordic air would not invade my already numb feet. But, this year's winter training made me a little more mentally tough, a tiny bit more hard as a competitive cyclist.

On another subject....

I will never totally figure out the inner working of a Woman's mind. I sometimes would gloat about myself and other men who attempted to relish on thinking we understood what women wanted to hear. This has been the first time I have ever lived with the girl I dated. While many people might be saying been there done that, well for me it's a first and I'm realizing I have so much to learn!

The first lesson I have learned is that women in general want men to listen more. Sometimes we "men" think we have a solution to every woman's problem. NO! What they want from us is to just sit, listen, and smile :) Boy this is hard! It seems there is something ingrained into the males brain and nervous system about responding to a female. I do believe men are good listeners but horrible at figuring out problems that do not concern us. The point I'm trying to make is we (men) need to bite our tongue before lending our words of moral support. Yes these revelations can only be exemplified by experiences.

This is an abbreviated versions of today's post....headed out for a ride. Be back later for some more writing.

2010 Updates

Happy New Year everyone. I'm back in New Jersey from a two week stint on Long Island. I went home to see my family and make some money walking dogs for my old boss. It felt good to be back on the Island to rejoice, and gather my thoughts about the future. Being at home gives us the opportunity to remain nostalgic but positive about changes in our lives. While this might be obvious to many to me it seems the older I get the less I'm calling my parents house home. As we age something inside of us tells us it's time to grow up, start a family, or just simply move on to the next stage in this complicated world we live in. For the first time in my life I'm happy away from home. I am truly starting to fall in love with Maija. She is a great girl and has welcomed me into her home with open arms. Her smile lights up my world and the very fact we can sit around and make each other laugh over the smallest of things gives me goosebumps. Many girls would be apprehensive about starting a new, serious relationship after getting divorced but I pride her on moving on with her life and taking one step in a positive direction. Life is all about change and adapting to what is thrown in our face. Relationships are the glue which keeps us guessing about all the What If's, Could, Would, and Should. It it a nice feeling when two people can come home to each other and truly be happy. I wish this was the case in all relationships. I have a friend who is in a relationship with their significant other who tends to be controlling, and yet while they might seem in control it is the other person who is dominates the relationship. Usually in this case the person who is being controlled is also the one who ends the relationship. I hope they can find a way to balance each other out. If we do not tell our significant other how we feel then we are selling ourselves and our kinship short. What is so unique about every individual is how each relationship differs from the next. I have always believed it is those relationships that continue to have open lines of communication grow and prosper. I see it in those friends who have been together for years. I see how well they communicate with each other. How they will wear their heart on their shoulder for that person to see everyday. It is true we all do not posses this characteristic but that doesn't meant we can not obtain it. Maybe you wish your significant other would communicate better with you, or that you feel you need to open your feelings to them more. Give it a try. Chances are at first they may shut you out. But if word it correctly it can end with approval rather than refusal. If we never take a chance on saying how we feel then we will never know how the other person will react. At times yes it is better to bite your lip but do not keep that thought or feeling inside permanently. Come back once you have given yourself time to digest and go about sharing your feelings in a different manner. We need to continue expressing our feelings to one and another. Maybe start with an E-mail or a phone call, then once the foundation has been set move on to a face to face conversation. Technology gives us many ways to share our compassion with others. But leave yourself open to variety. Don't just text and E-mail 100% of the time. Or vice versa, do not always confront in person if you tend to be a bit on the louder side (like me). Do we all need to be in relationships? of course not but it is my belief a story, idea, or experience is better shared with someone than without. We all seem to be seeking a balance in life. A balance of money, health, time, friendship, and rest. A balance of solidarity, togetherness, and most importantly nature.

The balance I seek is yet to be accomplished or even half found. For the past two years I have dedicated myself to bicycle racing. Instead of going out and working a 9-5 job I choose to find mediocre employment which would grant me the opportunity to train and race. I tend to live a life without regrets. If money was not a problem I probably would have been racing in in Europe.

In any cases greatness can be achieved in a a variety of ways. But at what cost? How many other people and experiences do we have to shut out in order reach these goals? Not all goals are obtained with negative side effects but sometimes it seems near or next to impossible to not be selfish when your mind is on auto pilot.

I have found endurance sports to be both exhilarating but yet a selfish feat. Cycling is a sport where you need to learn to suffer within before you can consider yourself worthy of the sport. It doesn't matter what category racer we are but if we can't learn to suffer than we will always remain mediocre. A life of mediocrity is not the way I intend to live.

This weekend I'll be heading to New Hevaen CT to take part in the Yale University Police Physical and Written test. I wish it was done on one day but for some reason they split itup on two different days. Then on Monday I have my oral board interview with the Delaware State Police. At this point I'm using every opportunity to get as many offers as I can in a bunch of different Police Departments. Once the application process is over and if I am offered a position I'll make a decision if that is where I want to go. I also landed a job as a dog handler at a dog daycare facility. The pay is not that good but it's close to Maija's house and I can take Cooper and Frito with me. I probably won't take them everyday or they will get burnt out from all the excitement. Another good perk about the job is that it's only 7 miles away so once Spring comes I'll be able to commute by bicycle instead of driving. I can't tell you how happy that makes me! Maybe one day I'll live in a town where I can commute everywhere by bicycle.

Time to play with the pups and relax for the night.

Until next time.

A

Very Random Thoughts...

Have you ever been in the shower had soap all over your body but still felt dirty?

Life would be a lot different without cars.

Maybe one day I'll get another tattoo. But only on my back and have my brother do the art work.

Don't you love that feeling you get after 1-3 beers. That warm fuzzy feeling you get where you can still comprehend reality but you don't care too. Where you are standing on a tight rope of perception and idealism?

Doesn't it feel good to be in love? Really really good?

Doesn't it feel good to type sometimes, not knowing who is going to read what you wrote? Ah the mystery in it.

Have you ever just wanted to drive over other cars, through cars, and around cars but something kept you from doing the unthinkable?

Have you ever been so cold you were hot?

Ugh dog walking makes me think a lot. Too cold for an ipod....

Have you ever been so scared of something but then hit fear right in the face and jumped in with two feet?

Do you challenge yourself enough?

I love all dogs but I LOVE certain dogs.

Why does time slow down when you want it to speed up and vice versa?

Are endurance athletes crazy obsessed or is everyone else?

Have you ever wanted to listen to someone but not respond?

I'm writing this is non-paragraph form for no apparent reason.

Love, cycling, reading, dogs, dogs, dogs, dreaming.

We hear people but we rarely listen.

Time to cycle. Time to cycle. Time to cycle.

I'm my mothers therapy when I'm hope. I sit and listen when she does stuff but sometimes don't respond. Makes me laugh :)